Maybe the head and the heart has its own conscience and now there are three in my head. But my mind isn’t jumbled up. My different consciences – if ever possible to multiply exist – are all on the same wavelength. They comfort each other so that I’ll survive. Questions get answered. Feelings are softened. They are all saying “this is alright, this is alright, this is alright.”
There are better things, better people. And then theres me.
Im not being low on the self-esteem metre. Its realistically the truth.
The truth that leads to other truths.
The truth that divides itself and reproduce, just like human cell divisions.
The truth that Ive accepted. Or in the process of.
There will be other people. Better people. And there was me.
The me that is.. trying. Trying not to need in the same body of better human cells.
To have her here and to hold her, is my privilege.
She’s not just here. She is here. shes not only filling the bed with her physical presence.
It’s the nicest feeling when shes there and she looks at you.
And sometimes she just reads my mind and grabs me the tissue that i was only beginning to think of. (thankyou)
There is this warmth when shes lying beside you. Like the moment is perfect and youre almost scared to comfort her just in case she disappears.
But shes there and its alright.
She’ll extend her hand eventually and that will be the best moment to hold her.
Youll be able to trace her hand and find that there’s a pulse between her middle and ring finger.
And then there will be lots of moments. Lots of moments where you almost. Almost.
But youre still afraid that if you do, she’ll be gone forever and you arent risking that.
She’s here and she is more than enough 🙂